Tried AZO for the 1st time..

So I decided to try AZO for my UTI since I don't have insurance or the kind of $ to go to the Dr to get antibiotics. I took it yesterday & totally had a freak out moment when I peed later in the day. I wiped & my toilet paper was orange! I was like wth is wrong with my period, but when I got up all my pee was orange & then I remember oh yeah that pill. I picked the perfect time to start taking them lol since my period is due. It's hard to tell since I mainly see orange when I wipe, but there was a time yesterday & today that I saw pink. I'm pretty sure that it's my period, but I won't believe it's true until I see it get heavier. I just don't understand how things work. We try our damn hardest to get pregnant & nothing, but the people that are far from wanting children or ready for them get pregnant in a blink. We deserve a baby as much as anyone else, we have so much love to give & no baby to shower in it. I've been trying my hardest not to be stressed out about all this, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball & be done with it all. I feel like a very cruel joke is being played on us. Everyone keeps saying, "It'll happen when it happens", "God has a plan, just trust in him", "Maybe right now isn't the right time", etc. Who is to decide when we're ready or when we deserve to get through a full on pregnancy & receive a precious baby in the end? It should be us, not anyone else.

It's been almost week..

Even though the purpose of this blog is to share our journey, I tried to stay off here for a bit so I don't just keep freaking out & complaining that I may or may not be pregnant. Well AF is due tomorrow night/Thursday sometime. Yesterday I had some durpy not exactly period cramping going on in my lower left belly/groin area & then later on in the night it moved right in the center. Then on Monday one time after wiping from going pee I saw a little light pink. So who knows if that's my "pre" AF "wanna-be" cramping & spotting or pregnancy pains & spotting.

My shopping for the day...

Originally my cousin told me to get Dr Christopher's Reproduction Formula since
it helped her get pregnant after her MC's so I went to GNC, but they didn't carry it.
Apparently you can only buy it online, but I didn't want to wait for it to get shipped to
me so the woman @ GNC recommended me this Prenatal Program.
This bad boy was originally $27, but it was on sale for $16.
Hopefully this helps us along our baby making journey.

After talking to other women about TTC in the MC groups I'm in on FB, I decided to go ahead & buy Pre-Seed. This bad boy was $23 at Wal-greens.
With us TTC everyday it hurts sometimes.
I had thought about lube before, but was scared since majority of them
aren't safe for keeping sperm alive. Hopefully this helps us along our baby making journey.♥

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then as a "just because" I bought these awesome colors!
I love nail polish & painting my nails!
These bad boys were $1.99each @ Wal-greens.

 

 

What I fear this month..

What I fear right now is that all these "symptoms" I think I might be having could just be a UTI/Bladder Infection. I've been having headaches since probably the beginning of this month, constantly having to pee-but not the trickling kind it'll be a full on pee, the coloring is always light-but it's sometimes a little foggy, it sometimes has a foul odor, it doesn't burn when I pee-but sometimes afterwards my 'area' has this uncomfortable feeling, a few times I've felt nauseous, & I've been having random dull cramping. I know if I was pregnant that some of these symptoms I'm having are too early to have for it, but I really hope that this isn't just UTI/Bladder Infection symptoms. I think I have it from the constant baby making we've been doing because it's been about a year since I've had one last. I can't wait for the end of next week to come to see if AF shows up or not. It's killing me not knowing!

All you need is Luck..

Well this cycle has 8-9 days left before either a new one clocks in for the month or if we finally succeeded in our baby making goal! We've been keeping 'busy' everyday since my AF ended January 2nd, except for 3 days which was the 7th, 12th, & the 14th. So I'm crossing my fingers that this is our month. We need all the luck we can get. For some reason my nips are ultra sensitive, I've been having random dull cramping, & I swear I saw some brown spotting yesterday!


When I fell pregnant in 2011, my last period of that year was November 28-December 3rd & I ovulated 9-10 days after. Then the next week after ovulation I started 'spotting' light pink & brown & had random dull cramping for a exactly 1 week. Which by the end of it the next day was Christmas & that's when my AF was due. Since I've never had an implantation bleeding before & really didn't know what it was, I thought my period was just really light & a week early even though it's always on time. With that in mind, I went out & got a tattoo on the day after Christmas not thinking it'd hurt anything since I 'just had my AF' as I had thought. After 2 days passed from my original AF date I decided to go ahead & take a test anyways (while I was on lunch at work mind you) since I was obsessed with taking them. When I saw the 2 lines appear I was excited & shocked at the same time. I thought I might've been seeing things, but the 2 lines were clear as day! I was just so used to only seeing 1 line. Since Trent & I worked at WM together, I took a picture of the test, put the test in my purse, went to show him the picture, & he asked what did it mean since I only took a picture of the lines. So I tried to sneakily pull out the test (so no one else could see) from my purse to show him, & surprisingly he was calm & took it very well. Which turns out that he just didn't want to show emotion at work. As I showed him I'm was trying not to cry while his brother was literally a few feet away from me (he works at WM as well). He just told me that it's ok & tried to calm me down since I was holding back jumping for joy out of my skin. Since I took the test right at the beginning of my lunch I was freaking out & the next thing on my mind was that I had to call my friend Sam. I couldn't even keep it together. All I could say was I took a pregnancy test, she says ok.. & what did it say? I just held my breath because I knew I'd start crying, she then asks did it say no, I just made a nu-uh noise, she was like IT SAID YES!?, & I was like mm-hmm. We had a mini freak out, which was great to have with a girl friend since Trent wanted to keep a professional face at work lol. After I got off the phone with her I immediately called my Dr to make an appointment for a blood test. When I went back to work I just kept my mouth shut just in case I wasn't pregnant. When we both got off work we talked about it & decided we wouldn't tell anyone until after my blood test results. Since Trent had to work the next day I brought Sam with me to my appointment & it turned out I'd have to wait another day to find out the results because they send them off. So I didn't get the call that I was pregnant until December 29th. After finding out I decided that I wanted to be cute & put one of my pregnancy tests in a christmas bag to give to my parents. Trent didn't find out until I picked him up from work. He then told his mom since she was the only one home & she said she had a feeling someone was pregnant because she had a dream about it. After telling my parents they were so excited. I even called my brother & his wife & all I could do was cry. Other than the day I got with Trent, I'd never been so excited in my life.♥

Where it all began..

My boyfriend, Trent, of 5 ½ years and I got our 1st apartment in March 2010. After a year of being there we decided we wanted start a family soon. I was currently on the birth control patch and had been for 8 years so we knew it might not happen as soon as I stopped using it. To our surprise, 5 months later I fell pregnant and we couldn't have been happier. We had already moved out of our apartment in August of 2011 to move in with his parents so we could save up possibly for a house, but since we didn't think I'd get pregnant so quick we had to put that on hold. I was so excited though, that I had already started picking out names. I even made my registry 2 months in. Then the inevitable happened, just 3 days prior to my 15 wk appt I woke up with a sharp pain in my side. I went to the bathroom and my water broke! I had a friend drive me to the ER & pick up Trent at work on the way. After spending the longest 6 ½ hours of my life there we had found out our baby still had a heartbeat, but my water was very low so I got transferred to the hospital. As I laid there getting pumped with fluids through an IV all I could do was cry, hold my tummy, and tell my baby that if it couldn't hold on then it was ok for it to go. The next morning with the ultrasound it showed our baby had passed. My Dr. had decided that with me being as far along as I was then it was best to get induced. (to be continued, it's hard to write this...)