Too soon for hope..

Well Saturday I noticed some spotting, but didn't want to get too invested in it. Then today AF pretty much started. I told myself I'd be ok since we didn't try that much this time around, but it still sucks. I need to hurry up & get back on Medicaid so I can make an appt. with my OBGYN to make sure everything is ok with me. Hopefully that'll put my mind at ease & I'll stop thinking it's my fault I'm not getting pregnant. Sometimes I think to myself that maybe I'm not meant to have kids. I don't want to think that way, but it happens. People say things happen for a reason, well what was the reasoning behind us losing Finn?

Only time will tell..

Here it is Day3 of when my AF was suppose to start. I know periods can lag a bit, but mine are normally pretty much on time. Not saying I'm never late a bit, but I at least spot a bit before it starts & I haven't seen anything. I still haven't had any AF symptoms either. If I don't start by next Wednesday then I will taking a HPT. Fingers crossed!

It's that time again..

Tomorrow my AF is due, but we'll see. With us moving out earlier this month I haven't been TTC a whole lot. I've just been really tired. I'm kind of glad I didn't go crazy this month because I've been stressing out about it hardcore for the past few months & this time around I kept mellow. So if I'm not pregnant this cycle then it's ok or at least I hope I'm ok. One thing I've noticed about this time around is that I haven't really had any AF symptoms like I do before I start. Maybe my body is just being wacky, but I guess we'll see. FX :)

On another note, the pregnancy bundles have started for the year. I actually found out an old friend had a baby the other day & I didn't even know she was pregnant. I'm not upset that she had another baby, just sad that no one bothered to tell me or that it never came up in the past 10months. Then the posts on FB have started of others becoming pregnant & it's really been putting me down in the dumps. I know it'll happen for us when it happens, but it still sucks hearing about others having either their 1st baby or another baby.

All settled in...

Fantastic news! We moved into our apts February 6th! Then since AT&T wouldn't transfer here we had to get Charter, which we just got on Saturday. So I haven't been able to update until now. On Saturday I also got to babysit Jace for the 1st time without having to worry about disturbing anyone at Trent's parent's house. Not that he really disturbed anyone, but I always felt bad if he got fussy & someone was sleeping. Also with him starting to scoot crawl he'll have more room to do so instead of just having our bedroom like at Trent's parents. So far I've only had Lee & Sam over, but I can't wait to have more people visit. I always felt weird having people come over at our last place cause the only place to hangout was our bedroom. As of right now we have majority of things unpacked & put up, but some boxes we had to just put away in closets since we don't have any shelves. There's a few things we still need to get like a TV stand, curtain rods, possibly another couch for more seating, etc. I'm so excited that we're actually back our on our own. I don't know what it is, but I feel like I've been able to sleep better & we've actually been going to sleep kind of early. I really enjoy the freedom of being able to do whatever I want, go anywhere in the house without having to worry about someone else being home, & actually being able to go to the bathroom when I need to. I'm prone to getting bladder infections & not being able to go when I need to sucks in the long run. Oh so onto baby news, we haven't really been trying a whole lot this month just because of all the moving & such, but we're not giving up. I'm glad things turned out the way they did this month bc with dealing with the move I haven't been stressing hardcore about TTC so I'm not going crazy. Hopefully if AF shows up this time around I don't get as upset.

Our lives are a changing..

I haven't posted in awhile, but my AF did end up starting. When it became heavy on Jan. 26th I cried in the bathroom. I was just so sure this was going to be our moment. I'm feeling better now that it's over & that we can just try again this month.

Also I'm excited to share that we got our income taxes on Feb. 1st, so we turned in applications to these all bills paid apts we found & luckily they still had a 1bdrm with a study available! We went a head & put a deposit down so they'd hold it for us. They said that after our applications process we could move in as soon as this week! I'm just so done living where we're at now & ready to be back out on our own. Plus we've talked about marriage & he doesn't want to propose while we're still living with his parents. In July we'll be going on 6yrs of being together & we've known each other for 12yrs. Crazy how time flies! I've always told Trent that I wish we would've gotten together sooner, but then again I feel like we needed to live out our bullshit before getting together♥.